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nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
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