dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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