My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?