i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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