Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
