I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
