Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize