hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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