So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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