u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
