tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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