Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have fence marks all over my body
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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