My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
