I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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