There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
why do cheetos always look like penises
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
