David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
