Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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