YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
