So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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