You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
