apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
