Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How's work?
Spinning.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
