I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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