Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
