Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
