my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
