i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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