i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
