idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
