I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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