He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
