Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...

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(724): i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it... http://tfl.nu/6i0l

Replies (12) Good night (1279) Bad night (3860)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own

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(864): i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own http://tfl.nu/koat

Replies (13) Good night (771) Bad night (4095)
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(916): View more from California

keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something

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(916): keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something http://tfl.nu/d7nj

Replies (10) Good night (1378) Bad night (4372)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor

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(732): im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor http://tfl.nu/d5hx

Replies (18) Good night (4631) Bad night (959)
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(417): View more from Missouri

i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.

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(417): i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings. http://tfl.nu/51gi

Replies (7) Good night (4222) Bad night (917)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?

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(724): This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class? http://tfl.nu/x3em

Replies (12) Good night (3780) Bad night (1148)
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(678): View more from Georgia

All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

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(678): All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know. http://tfl.nu/jvfd

Replies (6) Good night (1373) Bad night (1089)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...

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(419): Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great... http://tfl.nu/5p74

Replies (1) Good night (1615) Bad night (739)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...

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(503): I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot... http://tfl.nu/6eyj

Replies (14) Good night (702) Bad night (1517)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?

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(613): I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number? http://tfl.nu/y363

Replies (14) Good night (1379) Bad night (658)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.

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(225): Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it. http://tfl.nu/q6wi

Replies (9) Good night (1547) Bad night (534)
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(713): View more from Texas

I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.

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(713): I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it. http://tfl.nu/p4p1

Replies (9) Good night (1545) Bad night (599)
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(360): View more from Washington

There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.

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(360): There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle. http://tfl.nu/htoq

Replies (8) Good night (917) Bad night (458)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.

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(773): I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever. http://tfl.nu/ci2r

Replies (3) Good night (450) Bad night (770)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.

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(479): It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes. http://tfl.nu/bp5y

Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (310)

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