I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne