i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!