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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.

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• (366): View more from

  just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.

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• (516): View more from New York

  The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I slept with him to see his dog one last time

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Spring cleaning

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