Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.

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(561): View more from Florida

My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(775): View more from Nevada

So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.

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(514): View more from Quebec

i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving

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(281): View more from Texas

Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either

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(602): View more from Arizona

Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?

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(815): View more from Illinois

I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday

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