He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
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The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time