the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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