he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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