last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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