ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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