i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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