Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
