I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize