Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
