i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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