Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
