wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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