My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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