What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
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Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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