It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
