Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
