like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
