if i can run in heels then i can drive
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize