can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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