It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
