there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just pee around me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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