i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
