This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
