Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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