yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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