Are we in a gay sports bar?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
